We understand, it may feel difficult to redefine fun in sobriety. You may find yourself asking why life seems so boring. Take a moment to consider where you are and how far you have come.
Just think: you could blow it all up right now. You could walk into a bar and the second that drink hits your throat, your life starts over. Your six months start over. Your two years. Your nine years. Just hit that joint and you’re free. You won’t have to carry this anymore, this responsibility.
Because it is a responsibility, isn’t it? It was supposed to be for you, just for you, but somewhere along the way someone convinced you to promise other people you’d stay sober. And now, here you are. How is this fair?
The reason it is fair, and the reason you should not blow up your life, can best be summarized by the penultimate scene in Steven Spielberg’s 2002 film Catch Me If You Can.
The movie, which tells the story of the surrogate father-son relationship between a young con artist named Frank Abagnale (based on a real life criminal by the same name) and the wizened FBI agent on his tail, ends after Frank has been captured and recruited to work for the bureau. Naturally skittish and eager to escape his newfound obligation, Frank has lit out for the airport, only to find Carl Hanratty, the agent assigned to his case, there waiting for him.
“I’m gonna let you fly tonight, Frank,” says Carl, following the young man as he makes his way toward his gate, “I’m not even gonna try to stop you. Because I know you’ll be back on Monday.”
“Yeah? How do you know I’ll come back?” asks Frank, finally stopping.
“Look, Frank…” Carl extends an arm toward the empty terminal stretched out behind them.
“…Nobody’s chasing you.”
Before you try to dive back in the comfort zone of what you use to consider fun…
Please understand that the boredom you feel right now is not some minor inconvenience upon which you are frivolously or accidentally dwelling; it is of the Great Beast, crucial and eternal. Getting loaded would mask the symptom for the moment, but getting loaded is cheating, and cheaters always lose in the long game.
Life is a long game, if you’re lucky. The savage irony, of course, is that if you knew just how short life truly is, your boredom would evaporate like steam in sunlight, revealing itself to be an unfortunate illusion.
In the meantime, this writer is confident that you will do your best to get a kick out of something somewhere, and stay sober. And why is this?
Look around. Nobody’s chasing you.
What are some ways we can avoid feeling like sobriety is boring?
Find a community of people you can thrive with. Search inside yourself for those things that use to bring you joy as a child and seek them out again. Find a hobby. Whatever it is you may desire, try keeping an open mind to new experience and your life will grow fuller the more you open up to what it has to offer.
At Oak Forest Recovery, we emphasize on building a community around you to maintain sobriety. We spend most of our weekends on learning how to have fun in sobriety again to avoid the dilemma of asking ourselves, “Does sobriety have to be boring?”, we think not!
We encourage you to reach out to use if you live in the area of Agoura Hills/Thousand Oaks , California but if this is not possible there are plenty of resources to engage in sober activities such as Meetup ! It is a way to get involved in sober activates and engage in a sober connections we desire even if we may not recognize it at first.